**We all do things that serve the specific purpose of better embodying or presenting our gender identity.** Things that are as simple and common as wearing fake lashes, acrylic nails, or wearing makeup in general are all ways that (some) women choose to better embody their idea of femininity. Likewise, men doing things like bulking up at the gym for aesthetics, buying a nice car or watch, and paying for meals on dates are ways that they (sometimes) choose to better embody their idea of masculinity. When you ask someone why they do these things -- wear makeup or buy nice watches -- the initial answer is likely just that they *like* to do those things, or they like how they look. But if we go even one layer deeper to ask *why* we like those things, the answer is often that they make us feel more presentable, more put-together, they help us *express* ourselves. I think those are all examples of how these are ways we accentuate, perform, exaggerate, express, or present our gender. And these gender expressions are different for everyone. Some women feel more feminine with shaved legs; some women feel more feminine with their natural body hair. Some men feel more masculine when they are physically dominant; some men feel more masculine when they reject that mindset. These behaviors are on spectrums for cis-gender people as much as they are for trans people; we just don't use the same type of language. [[2024-06-05]] Saw a video from David Pakman who mentioned that his “definition” of a woman is someone who is deliberately trying to exist in the world as a woman. Made me realize that I see myself as existing as a woman in two ways: 1. I’m a woman in the same way that I’m a writer. I’m not a writer because I do it every day, or because I’m a published author; it’s a deep, intrinsic understanding of myself and how writing and related practices shape how I exist in and see the world. It’s important to me that other people see me as a writer so they have some frame of reference for my perspective. Some people might argue that that personal knowing *doesn’t* make me a writer if I don’t fall into their understanding of what that means, but I think most people understand that there are many ways to “be a writer”. That’s how I feel about womanhood. [[2025-01-20 author - woman]] 2. I’m also a woman in the sense that I was born, raised, and socialized female in a patriarchal society and have experienced the consequences that come from that. Some women resonate with both definitions; some might resonate only with one or the other. I don’t think either is right or wrong or complete — they’re just different ways we see and understand our evolving identities.